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You can't change what does not want to be changed. Embrace him for who he is and see where it goes from there. First I'd just like to say sorry so many folks jumped on you for this.
Welcome to Reddit,
It's a bit easy for introverted folks to be defensive about people wanting you to 'open up', because it generally means making us do things we just don't enjoy. That there's a lot of implication that being less social, not going out as much, etc, is kind of being a broken loser. But that all aside, I assume you just want to make sure he's comfortable with you. Patience helps but that could also just let things stagnate.
If you want to be more active in it, just try to engage his interests. Like find something he enjoys, maybe do research on it outside of him, and then engage him about it. I had a super anxious girlfriend before, and that was how I helped her relax. Just asking out of politeness is obvious though, it's why I suggest researching on your own, make your interest in him an interest in whatever it is your looking up.
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When you two share something like that, he'll likely warm up quicker. He's a new guy in your life. Enjoy him for what attracted you to him in the first place. Don't try changing him just yet. Let him come to you. If you like him enough as he is to date him, why try to change him?
Accept him for who he is or move on. I understand where your coming from my girlfriend is the same as your SO. Try and just encourage conversation by bringing up topics that you know they enjoy. If it becomes a problem then I say communicate with them that you'd like them to be a bit more talkative. It's not trying to change someone it's just expressing what you need in this particular relationship. It's about communicating and compromise.
If he needs some time for quiet as well then you should give it to him. I've been with my SO for four years and this became a problem we had to work through. At a point it felt like I was talking to a wall and nobody should be like that introverted or not. Isn't this dependent on the people you're around with? I've been in parties with a bunch of Ivy League students.
I had nothing to say while they debated politics and science.
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I stopped going to them. Honestly, I have no idea what they were talking about so I felt like a fish out of water. Seriously, you either accept him for who he is or spend a lot of time and effort trying to unsuccessfully change him into something that he isn't.
That's about as dumb as dating a person of a gender you're not attracted to while asking around on how to get them to get a sex change. In time he will open up as he gets more comfortable with you. You don't need to do too much. Don't worry and don't pressure him. I contributed to the fucking up of a relationship with a guy who was far more introverted than I am. He said that sometimes I was insensitive or that it seemed like I didn't care.
I realized later that I don't think it's ever true that I didn't care, just that I wouldn't recognize signals that he wanted to talk to me about something. I'm super open, when I'm upset, I'm just like "yo I'm upset. But he's not like that. He would never just say "I need you right now. It's always better to ask a question like "I don't mean to pry but how does that make you feel? At least by asking you seem like you care. Maybe he'll change his nature, maybe you'll have to accept that he isn't a gregarious person. There's not a whole lot you can do. He will have to make some changes himself if he wants to open up.
Don't call him quiet though, it will make him feel terrible. Maybe focus on a topic that he's really into. Also some people will open up more when drinking. Slowly, don't try to force anything, or to throw him into situations where he is uncomfortable.
Dating Shy Guys Reddit
He'll likely open up in time, but give it that time, he has to trust you. Time is the only way to build the sort of trust required to get people out of their comfort zone.
One absolutely key question: If he's somewhat like me; don't try to drag fast responses out of him. I personally like to take my time and think of a good reply also suffer from major overthinking sometimes When people start rushing me for an answer I get the huge urge to tell them "yeah I'm fuckin' thinking you know".
Don't take slow answers as a sign of insecurities or whatever, but see it as him trying to make an effort. Putting thought in his reply and probably trying to get the conversation going on a deeper level. Seriously, the best results I've ever seen in encouraging people to behave differently happened without a "this is what I'm gonna do" speech. Just let him have room to behave in a. You don't get to make shy, quiet guys open up more. Quit trying to "fix" him and either accept him for who he is or move on to someone more your style. I'm not trying to "fix" him.
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